We named our fund «The Happy Child» because we really want all children to be happy! Each year we end up with more and more tasks and projects and there are only 24 hours in a day. But sometimes you want to take a break from the endless stream of cases and ask yourself:
What makes a child happy?
An answer to this question determines the direction of our work and the work of everyone who wishes for the best welfare of the children.
As adults we are happier when we are loved and respected, when we and our relatives are healthy, there is a creativity in our life, communicating and learning new things and when our basic material needs are satisfied. Children are just the same.
All this is necessary for children as well as for adults. But, children do have their own specific needs. Before reaching a certain age a child needs the protection and support of their loving parents. A child should be given as much love and happiness as possible so that as an adult they could benefit others.
The Beatles sing in their song: “All you need is love…”. Love is necessary for adults and children. To make our children happy we must give them wise love not blind love.
We will always give attention to children by giving them time to communicate with us. Unfortunately, very often work and chores don't give us opportunities to communicate with children. Without attention and communication a child closes down, their self-esteem diminishes, their developing slows down. This is true not only for children from families but also for orphans. The best thing you can do for an orphaned child is to give them your love by giving them your attention and your time, by becoming their friend and if possible by becoming their loving parent.
If we truly love a child we understand that we have to change ourselves. We will not be able to persuade a daughter or a son that smoking and drinking is harmful if we do that ourselves. It is hard to bring a child to do morning exercises and clean after themselves if we do not do the same. If there is no good book in a house our children will not likely have the love of reading. Children follow adults’ examples and no lecture will help unless we change our behaviour.
From this it follows that to make lives of children of dysfunctional families better we have to work with their parents. For making life of orphans better we have to educate and motivate staff.
If we really love a child we teach them to benefit others. A child always follows your example, so do not limit yourself only to lecturing but do good for others and motivate a child to take their part in it.
A loving parent gives a child an opportunity to get an education, they do not pass the responsibility for a child`s education to a school. Unfortunately, to find a good school where a child is always given needed knowledge without changing a child`s personality is very hard. A wise parent would explain to a child a real goal of getting knowledge, they would tell that to study is necessary not for making a lot of money in the future at any cost but for benefiting others.
If we really love a child we teach them to live a healthy life, to accept proper and healthy nutrition by our example. If your son or daughter spends all day in front of their computer or TV, eats unhealthy food, does not participate in sports, do not be surprised if very soon your children will have many diseases.
A loving parent gets children accustomed to work and creativity, teaches useful skills, tells them what a family is and how to build it. A loving and wise parent at proper times gives a child as much independence as needed and does not poke their nose in the life of a new young family.
What should people who want to help children of dysfunctional families and orphans do?
In my opinion nowadays the most important is non-material help for problem children such as communication, education, spiritual development, teaching of the healthy life, developing useful skills and work.
Unfortunately, many donors prefer material help: sweet gifts, TV`s, computers etc. But, material help can be only in addition to non-material help. Computers are needed only for education; sweets are needed only while drinking tea and having a soulful conversation with children, sporting goods are needed for physical development. Often there are computer classes in orphanages along with plasma TV`s but they are used for surfing the Internet (sometimes, pornowebsites) and watching horror movies and westerns. Sponsors donate computers but do not think if there are qualified teachers in an orphanage who can get children interested in receiving knowledge.
One gets a feeling that sponsors just pay off from those who they help because it is easier to make a gift than to start communicating with a child, to try to understand their problems and stand by them until they grow up.
During our conversations with potential donors we always tell them about the importance of spiritual, non-material, educational support of orphans. But, many of them only want to pass a gift to an orphanage and get a good photo report because it is so easy and visual.
We hope that gradually we could change stereotypes about help for orphans and patrons will support not only a body but the soul of a child.
So, let`s give children our love and attention, may our world be filled with happy kids!
