This hypothetical letter is written from the perspective of a newly-adopted older child. The topics and ideas covered in the letter have been taken from books, therapists, and children who have shared their fears, worries, and emotions from those early days when they first got to their forever families.

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I'm scared. I've always wanted a forever family, and they told me you're my new mommy and daddy…but I'm scared. Where I used to live…I ate, played, and laughed...now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. The people who took care of me said I'll be "better off" with you, but I don't know what that means. Your voices are different. The food you feed me is different. Everything smells different. Even the clothes feel different. Please help me not to feel so scared.

I'm sad. I miss my friends, my other toys. When I'm very silly, or I cry, or I don't play with anything, or I don't eat, or I'm too loud, it might be because I'm sad. Can we write a letter to the place where I used to live? Can I look at pictures of those people?

I'm all mixed up inside. You've given me all these new toys and my new bedroom is nice. But who are all these people that keep coming to the house? And why do we keep going to more new places. I'm excited but I'm tired. Can we have some quiet days at home so I can get used to it?

I can't stop myself. I know I'm doing bad things like touching everything, being too noisy, hitting people, and throwing things. It's like there's a big volcano inside me and I just can't sit still. I want to be good, but I can't. Can you teach me how to get calm inside me?

I have lots of other emotions inside me, but I can't share them. You're my new parents, but I don't know you. I don't feel comfortable sharing everything with you yet. Maybe I will soon.

I think it would be good if you smile a lot, tell me nice things over and over, and cuddle me even if I act like I don't want you to. Maybe that will make me feel better.

From,

Your new child

http://www.olderchildadoption.com/